He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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