there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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