Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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