Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
