Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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