Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize