It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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