He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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