Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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