Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
