just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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