I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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