You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize