My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
