fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tell your sister to shave her snatch
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
