Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
high people should be assigned attendants
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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