Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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