my mouth tastes like poor choices
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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