I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That reminds me...we need to get swords
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
