just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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