they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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