Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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