but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
