If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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