I will die if light touches me.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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