I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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