There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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