North Korea, Best Korea!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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