that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
