Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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