ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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