She's JV to your varsity
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
