I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize