Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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