I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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