spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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