Plan B is the new Plan A
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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