He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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