Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
