My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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