If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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