I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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