Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
