i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
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I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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