Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
