I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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