I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
