I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
