oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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