I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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