the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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