TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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