how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
