So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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