"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
