It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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